How to Install a Home Security System in the South

:FI:Snaphoo · Post by **:FI:Snaphoo** » Wed Aug 22, 2007 4:54 pm

How to Install a Home Security System in the South

*1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's
used size 14-16 work boots.*

* 2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy
of Guns & Ammo Magazine.*

*3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and
magazine.*

* 4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more
ammunition. Back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls--they attacked the
mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.

I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard
to tell from all the blood.

Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside."

"Skeeter"

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Wed Aug 22, 2007 5:28 pm

Funny, but that ain't scary, 'cause we 'real Southerners' usually break in the back window.

:FI:Falcon · Post by **:FI:Falcon** » Wed Aug 22, 2007 5:54 pm

PS: Granny's all naked in the back room playin' with herself again. For the love of Dog, don't go back there.

~~~

There, fixed that.

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Wed Aug 22, 2007 7:24 pm

Nah, dat don't scare we Trinis. Wot we do is bring along ah camcorder an' film old Granny and make big bucks on Adult site. Plus all dat loot makes one big haul. Yeah, mon! We fixed dat problem

:FI:Snaphoo · Post by **:FI:Snaphoo** » Wed Aug 22, 2007 8:56 pm

Makes note... Trinidad full of know-it-all thieves.

Never go there.

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Thu Aug 23, 2007 2:52 pm

Damn straight, brother and they're all in the Government.

:FI:Igor · Post by **:FI:Igor** » Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:58 pm

Alarm system? Hell Son, just keep an alagator tied up in back and put up a sign 'Insured bt Smith and Wesson'

Igor

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:34 pm

We got ah way 'round dat too. We bring along a toowrist from Europe and convince him or her dat it's ah genuine alligator purse- dey usually fall for dat. While de alligator is busy chomping on toowrist, we run off wit de loot. There, see how easy?

Bandit Extraordinaire

:FI:Falcon · Post by **:FI:Falcon** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:54 pm

Okay,

so the thief gets past the guns and the gater and gramma ...

but everything from the Lay-Z-Boy to the Laxative are RENTED from

Big Jeeter's Rent-a-Center

so the thief HAS to give everything back or pay a heavy late charge.

There!

De case ees sol-ved.

...

next thread!

Insp. Falcon

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:12 pm

Not so fast, birdboy!

In fact Big Jeeter was de one who hired us to raid de place and fence de stuff at some hippie dude livin' in loozeyanna. So in case Babylon catches us dey will hold he instead.

Boy, dey better make ah movie 'bout we.

AB was last seen living it up in New Orleans