limo,(and he
> > doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still
standing
>on
> > the curb.
> > "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please
> > take your seat so we can leave?"
> > "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me
drive at
> > the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."
> > "I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what
if
> > something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never
> > gone to work that morning.
> > "There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.
> > Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in
behind
> > the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after
> > exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to
105
> > mph.
> > " Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver,
> > but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
> > "Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.
> > The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop
> > approaches,but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his
motorcycle,
> > and
> > gets on the radio.
> > "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
> > The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped
a limo
> > going a hundred and five.
> > "So bust him," says the Chief.
> > "I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the
cop.
> > The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"
> > "No, I mean really important," said the cop.
> > The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?
> > Cop: "Bigger."
> > Chief: "Governor?"
> > Cop: "Bigger."
> > "Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
> > Cop: "I think it's God!"
> > Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"
> > Cop: "He's got the f***ing Pope as a chauffeur!!"
A well known cardiologist died, and an elaborate funeral was planned. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point one of the mourners burst into laughter. When confronted, he said, " I’m sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral....... I’m a gynecologist."
