"Mumbai, what number am I in the landing sequence?"
"By the time you land, sir, you will be number one."
And (another) hoary old chestnut: QANTAS pilot to
copilot landing at Sydney, forgetting the cabin
intercom was live:
"What I need now is a cold beer and a hot shiela"
Stewardess hurries forward lest worse befall.
Chorus of passengers "Hey, you forgot the beer!"
Lufhansa Pilot to co-pilot, forgetting that the
frequency was open: "We used to come up the Thames, and
turn over here for the docks...."
Voice on frequency: "ACHTUNG SPITFEUR"
After being informed by a pilot cleared to land in
Fayetteville that he now had two light aircraft cleared
to land on opposite ends of the same runway, the
controller paused and transmitted
"Y'all be careful now."
(Ack 'a former ATC' - he says this is true, he heard the tape.)
ATC tales
- :FI:Sneaky_Russian
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ATC tales

"The marksman hitteth the target partly by pulling, partly by letting go. The boatsman reacheth the landing partly by pulling, partly by letting go." (Egyptian proverb)
- :FI:Falcon
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Re: ATC tales
~~~
After being informed by a pilot cleared to land in
Fayetteville that he now had two light aircraft cleared
to land on opposite ends of the same runway, the
controller paused and transmitted
"Y'all be careful now."
(Ack 'a former ATC' - he says this is true, he heard the tape.)
~~~
True hell!
It's a daily occurrence!
Cleared by the tower for take off the same time as another ac on an intersecting rw at Alexandria, LA., I mention this to tower and he says, (well, watch out then ...).
F
After being informed by a pilot cleared to land in
Fayetteville that he now had two light aircraft cleared
to land on opposite ends of the same runway, the
controller paused and transmitted
"Y'all be careful now."
(Ack 'a former ATC' - he says this is true, he heard the tape.)
~~~
True hell!
It's a daily occurrence!
Cleared by the tower for take off the same time as another ac on an intersecting rw at Alexandria, LA., I mention this to tower and he says, (well, watch out then ...).
F

"He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed."
- The history of Paul Revere's midnight ride, by Sarah Palin.
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- Post Maniac General
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- Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 9:40 pm
- Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA (Smile when you say that!)
Re: ATC tales
Considering the idiots that fly out of Double Eagle 2 Airport here in Albuquerque, I can't wait for the Sh#t to hit the fan when they open the tower next week! 

...and wear your feckin' mask!!!!! 

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- Location: Germany
Re: ATC tales
Same happened on the Breitscheid Airshow I have published pictures of in another thread.
We had radio on and one plane was cleared to land when the controller switched the direction and cleared one plane for take off
At least the pilots were awake enough to notice the fault.
We had radio on and one plane was cleared to land when the controller switched the direction and cleared one plane for take off

At least the pilots were awake enough to notice the fault.