strange goingons in the world since i upped my dsl speed

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Beowolff
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strange goingons in the world since i upped my dsl speed

Post by Beowolff » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:24 pm

lol! yeah, strange things afoot these days...

:shock:

just yesterday a SW Bell telephone rep called to offer me an upgrade from the 1.5mb dsl i have to 3.5mb XTREME dsl for only five bucks extra. i was only able to get the ultra 1.5mb about six months ago (previously sad-sack dialup only) and had been amazed by the 1.5s speed...so i said "sure"...and was promptly even MORE amazed at the blazing 3.5s super speed. wow!

but at the same time, i realized that they're having fist fights in congress in Mexico... over a presidente that has announced himself president by winning the vote by less than a percent (but hey, a win is a win, right? if it had only been ONE vote, wouldn't that STILL be a win? doh!)

the Terminator was there... "It's good action," quipped California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger as he arrived.

the former American president, Bush was there... Bush looked down at the near-empty chambers littered with protest banners from a balcony. A Mexican reporter yelled from below in English: "Be careful while you're in Mexico!"

The elder Bush laughed and said "thank you."
(and i'm thinking...to myself, if he's smart (bush that is) he'll ALWAYS be careful in Mexico!)

later that evening, a huge snowstorm moved through the mid-west...heck, about 1:00 this morning, i went out and even saw huge flakes (though they didn't stick) swirling about through the air at my old farm house here in Tennessee!

an Ancient Indian skull was found on Long Island...and Richards...aka Krammer from Seinfield...is STILL in the news about his club comments.

and i'm thinking...did my getting the XTREME DSL connection somehow cause all of this ruckus in the world?

i dunno'...but it seem suspicious to me. i'll have to ask my pet grey squirrel... he's the brainy sort and keeps up with such things far better than i. he lives in this bodaciously big hickory tree right outside of my computer/library room's window, and at least once a day climbs down to cavort around on my window sill, chunk hickory nuts explosively at my dirty, cig-smoke stained glass window and jabber at me in his odd, highpitched German accent. (German accent? ---you ask! well, yeah, i only recently found out that "most" squirrels converse in German and have German accents.)

by the way, i'm thinking of naming my pet, Pedro... (cause occasionally he also speaks in Spanish---evidently squirrels can speak several tongues---and as i don't really like most Germanic names as they seem so...you know, Kurt.) and of course he's not really my pet, and i think he resents me calling him that, but hey, i have to have SOME explaination to give to the wife (and the house cats and dogs) about why he hangs around outside my computer room window all the time and the "pet" thingy was the best i could come up with in a lurch.

i'm wondering...if i call SW BELL back and have them cancel my 3.5mb dsl...will that cause the NEW presidente of Mexico to resign and turn into a Mexican prizefighter or maybe a hired bounty killer, or maybe cause the snowstorm in the midwest to turn into a heatwave and melt all of the kid's snowmen, cause Schwarzenegger to do another Conan, the barbarian/Terminator movie... cause Bush to NOT be careful in Mexico, cause that ancient Indian skull to turn out to be Jimmy Hoffa's skull, cause Krammer to insult Schwarzenegger and end up also being a skull in california (Death Valley, maybe) somewhere?

it "could" work like that, you know... odd things happen.

check back next week for issue 2 vol 1 where i discuss quantum physics and invisible quarks with Pedro (the grey pet squirrel with the Germanic---sometimes Spanish---accent.)

it'll be informative, i promise.

;)

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LOL...

Post by :FI:Fenian » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:47 pm

Hi Beo!

:)

Can you refer me to your doctor... I too need to see the 'lighter' side of this life right now ;)

In the meantime... keep it coming!!!!

;)
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Post by :FI:Falcon » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:21 pm

Mr. Beowolff,

You ask a lot of questions ...

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Let me say first that my two squirrels, Adolfina and Ulbrecht married into our family to get rid of the pet stigma thingie. They always have opinions about something or the other and tottally monopolize the conversation at dinner time.

Adolfina is a Sciurus dispensational premillennialist and believes that the end is near. Well, actually that we all left before the millennium. She doesn't see the problem in that though, but she believes that Dog, if he hasn't already done so and we're not actually here now, will call us up at anytime.

Adolfina says that because of price-cutting in heaven, Dog will be unable to lift each soul ~physically~ into heaven. Therefore he is considering just uploading soul.files in batches straight to St. Peter's 'puter. For such an undertaking, all true-believers will need the fastest connection possible.

I'm afraid Beo, if she is right, you have been selected as a beta tester.

So, all these strange goings-on are just those greater than we, and their squirrel relatives, working the nuts out of the UbermegaHimmelserver scheduled to go gold, or is that pearl?, in about ... uh, two weeks.

So, have fun with that and let us know how it all works out.


Falcon
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Post by AltarBoy » Fri Dec 01, 2006 11:42 pm

I swear you guys say the oddest things on the net. :lol: If your DSL is giving you so much of THAT info I think dial up sounds much saner. :lol:
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Post by Beowolff » Sat Dec 02, 2006 12:36 am

:FI:Falcon wrote:
I'm afraid Beo, if she is right, you have been selected as a beta tester.

So, all these strange goings-on are just those greater than we, and their squirrel relatives, working the nuts out of the UbermegaHimmelserver scheduled to go gold, or is that pearl?, in about ... uh, two weeks.


Falcon
hmmmm, you could be right, Fal... food for thought anyway. and now that i've mentioned food i'd like to relate that with my awesome NEW dsl power (possibly Heaven or even squirrel powered) connection i actually downloaded an entire potato this afternoon.

yes, it was a real spud...of average size, length and color.

but upon my examination of it, it suddenly sprouted legs (much like the head thingamajiggy in THE THING movie of several years ago) bit my index finger and took off skittering across the room.

luckily Pedro saw it, leaped through the window and pounced on it, taking it down and instantly devouring it. (of course German speaking squirrels would love potatoes!)

"Don't say it!" he threatened after the meal, straightening up and licking potato skin from his chops...

"Say what?" i asked innocently.

"that potato masher joke you had in mind...that's what!" he told me.

(i got it then and howled in glee... where on Pedro "also" bit me on the index finger and scampered back out the window. obviously he's sensitive to that sort of stuff.)

gah!

:oops:

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Post by Baderslegs » Sat Dec 02, 2006 10:48 am

Yip!

the high speed, superhighway that is the WWW is an amazing thing.

Really impressed with the 3.5Mb connection you've got Beo that allows you to download potatoes.

Can't wait till the bandwidth is big enough so we don't need to use air transport, then we can just upload ourselves to our destination.

It will make journeys much more enjoyable.

No more hanging around the ladies rest rooms at airports, no more passengers sitting next to you with bombs in their shoes and no more
people complaining because I get nervous flying and the gasses in my tum tum need to find release.

Ooooh I'm sooo exited I could pee!
It's a comin, I can see it in my lifetime.

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And the only thing you need to pack

Post by :FI:Sneaky_Russian » Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:29 pm

Is the insect repellant
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Post by Beowolff » Mon Dec 04, 2006 6:43 pm

ugh... what an ugly fly! or is that a spider? as in that picture they seem to be tripping/falling about on a giant web? :?

anyway, i'm wondering now if there is something wrong with my FAST XTREME DSL... or could it be some sort of "anti-people" block that the government has secretly installed on my computer or on the isp's.

the problem started when (after the neat trick of downloading a potato) i was encouraged to download Sue Storm...aka Jessica Alba... from a stunning Fantastic Four publicity photo of her off the web.

apparently everything was working well as the download started...and about three feet out into the middle of my compuer/library room, the air started shimmering (like the old star trek teleporter special effect) and i could see the outline of Sue/Jessica beginning to form.

after about five minutes, she began to solidify and appear in the flesh...wahoo and what a flesh too! (apparently the human body downloads first, and the clothing last! wink wink!)

well, she was 99 percent complete and my tongue was hanging out in anticipation when suddenly ---SHE BECAME INVISIBLE!

WHAT?!!?

i don't get this! obviously SOMETHING is wrong with my connection or there is some sort of block causing this! !@#@&$#@! i immediately tried again and with the same results. 99 percent downloaded and "blink!" she became invisible again!

what in hades could be up with this?

i'm devestated!

any hints or tips appreciated...

:( :( :(

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Post by :FI:Sneaky_Russian » Mon Dec 04, 2006 10:10 pm

Do you have "Pop-ups " blocked?












:shock:
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Post by Beowolff » Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:29 pm

pop ups blocked.... er, no, Sneaky. well, maybe "one" pop up was blocked (wink wink, nudge nudge.)

keep those good thoughts comin' though.

sayyyy... i can't believe that no one thought to mention the obvious... Sue Storm... aka "INVISIBLE GIRL" that sorta' thingy...

well sure she could turn invisible and all on her own without there being a fault in my superspeed connection or people block on my isp.

now...does everyone feel silly for not thinking of that? i know "I" do.

:p :p :p :p

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Post by :FI:Falcon » Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:36 pm

...

I like to play with my ThingTM

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...

Post by :FI:Fenian » Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:40 pm

move along now....

noTHING to see here.....

:roll:
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Post by :FI:Igor » Wed Dec 06, 2006 12:07 am

Beo,

3.5 Meg?...holy crap...i feel real lucky to maintain 24K on my crap dial-up.

Igor
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