A little levity...

[:FI:Fenian]

3 blondes walk into a bar, you would have thought one of them would have
seen it
.......................................................................................................................
A bra and a set of jumper leads walk into a bar and the bra asks for 2 beers. Barman says no, Bra asks why? Barman says well, you're off your tits and he looks like he's about to start something
.....................................................................................................................
An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman walk into a bar and the barman says
"what is this, a joke"
...................................................................................................................
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
.....................................................................................................................
A bear walks into a bar, takes a chunk out of the bar and orders a beer, barman says here you go, that'll be $57. Bear says "what", Barman says $5 for the beer, $52 for the barbituate.
.......................................................................................................................
A sad horse walks into a bar and the barman says "why the long face" Horse
says dunno, always had it.
......................................................................................................................
A bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a gin and.............................................................. tonic", barman says why the large pause, bear says dunno, always had em.
.....................................................................................................................
Grasshopper walks into a bar and the barman says we got a drink named after you. Grasshopper says "what, Kevin"
..........................................................................................................................
A bit of bitumen walks into a bar and says " I'm from the freeway and I'm the toughest bitumen in town, gimme a beer" Then a bit of concrete walks in and says "I'm from the airport and I'm the toughest concrete in town, gimme a beer" and the two start facing each other off. Then a bit of green bitumen walks in, just looks at the other 2 and they slink off while he gets his beer. Barman goes over and asks why, and they reply "don't mess with him, he's a cycle-path"
.......................................................................................................................
Hamburger walks into a bar and the barman tells him sorry mate, we don't serve fast food here.
.........................................................................................................................
Bloke walks into a bar, sits down and heres "my you're handsome" He looks around but there's nobody there except a bowl of nuts and the barman. He asks the barman if he spoke and he replies "n'ah mate, not me, must have been the nuts, they're complimentary"
.....................................................................................................................
That's about it off the top of my head, but I'm sure I can think of more.........

This duck walks into a bar...
Duck: 'Barman, you got any bread?'
Barman: 'No.'
Next day, duck walks into a bar...
Duck: 'Barman, you got any bread?'
Barman: 'No.'
Next day, duck walks into a bar...
Duck: 'Barman, you got any bread?'

Barman: 'Listen duck, we don't got any bread. Ask me one more time and I'll nail your beak to the bar.'
Next day, duck walks into a bar...
Duck: 'Barman, got any nails??'
Barman: 'No.'
Duck: 'Good, got any bread?'

[:FI:Heloego]

...





...


Sorry, Fen. I'm speechless.

[:FI:Fenian]

been at the Bison Grass vodka again Dan?



WE REMEMBER

[:FI:Falcon]

been at the Bison Grass vodka again Dan?



WE REMEMBER

...

Is that when he started meowin' like a bear

or roarin' like a cat

or something?


F

[:FI:Fenian]

just before talking to Dog.....



Ahhh... the truth is out there!!!!!

[:FI:Heloego]

If I spent more time smoking cigarettes instead of drinking I would have to put up with this.