He, he...

[:FI:RULES]

A Tale From The Northland
A C-141 Starlifter had been delayed for take-off for well over an hour at Thule Air Force Base, Greenland, because it's sewage container had not been pumped out.
An Airman Basic meandered up to the aircraft with the containment pump, fiddles around for a while, then gets ready to leave.

The young Captain, who was the aircraft commander confronted the Airman, and stated, "You have caused me to be 2- hours late for my take-off. I'll see that you are not only reprimanded, but punished as well!"

The young Airman smiled and said, "Sir, with all due respect, I have no stripes, I'm stationed at Thule, Greenland, it's 20 degrees below zero, and I'm pumping shit from aircraft. Just what kind of punishment did you have in mind?"

[:FI:RULES]

Maintenance squawks submitted by RAF pilots,
with replies from the fitters.
problem: left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
soluton: almost replaced left inside main tyre.

problem: test flight ok, except autoland very rough.
solution: Autoland not fitted to this aircraft.

problem: #2 propellor seeping prop fluid.
solution: #2 propellor seepage normal, #'s 1, 3 & 4 propellors lack normal seepage.

problem: Something loose in cockpit.
solution: Something tightened in cockpit.

problem: Evidence of leak on right landing gear.
solution: Evidence removed.

problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
solution: Volume set to more believable level.

problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
solution: Live bugs ordered.

problem: Autopilot on altitude hold mode produces a 200fpm descent.
solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

problem: IFF inoperative.
solution: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
solution: That's what they are there for.

problem: Number 3 engine missing.
solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

problem: Aircraft handles FUNNY.
solution: Aircraft warned to straighten up, 'fly right' and be more serious.

problem: Target Radar hums.
solution: Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

[Deathsledge]

[MikeVictor]

Mike

[arne_and]

Thanks rules , i needed that laugh now



And btw. nice picture mike

[:FI:Snaphoo]

Problem: Auto-land feature a bit rough. (Test pilot)
Solution: Auto-land not a feature on this aircraft.

Problem: Mouse loose in cockpit.
Solution: Cat installed in cockpit.

[:FI:Heloego]

squawk: Noise coming from cabin, Sounds Like little man with hammer tapping.

Fix: Removed little man with hammer.

[MikeVictor]

Thank u arne laddie,

I just had the picture taken the other day in the police station, didn't cost a thing..I think it's a good likeness but I don't look as intemidating as I would like...

Good luck to you brother Irish,


Gross Gott,

Mike