. The truth is out. 
Thats why I dont do that. I prefer a different approach:
1.) Hold cutting utensil in your right hand. Hold multi-pronged thingy in your left.
2.) Rotate plate until desired food item is directly in front of you.
3.) Hold down food item with multi-proged thingy to prevent escape. Use cutting utensil to make big pieces into smaller ones.
4.) Use multi-proged thingy to transfer smaller pieces into oral cavity.
5.) Repeatedly apply pressure to food item with teeth until reduced to a size that will allow for more efficient digestion...or three times, whichever comes first.
6.) While performing step five, breathing is best done by inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth while producing "umm" and "yumm" sounds for maximum oxygen absorbtion.
7.) Keep jaws well lubricated during this process by pouring fluid into oral cavity regularly...beer seems to work the best for this.
8.) Repeat steps two through eight as needed.
I don't think even the Japanese could improve on that system.
As my carpet and house doesn't need asphalt, nor fog seal, nor seal coat, nor diesel fuel, etc on it.. the boots stay OUTSIDE!!
, ofcourse I whipe their feet with a towel in nasty weather.
Yes, I've seen the documentary on CBC. (Only in CanadaUnless you are a slob or teenager, we Canadians ALWAYS remove our footwear. Salute
) 
