A NORWEGIAN DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS CANADA TO SEE THE PACIFIC OCEAN WHEN HE GETS TO NANAIMO, HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY.
BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!!
HE WALKS INTO THE MACMILLIAN-BLOEDEL OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOGGER. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE.
BUT FIRST, THE BUSH FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE BUSH IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND POINTS AT A TREE. "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS. THE NORWEGIAN PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "DATS DERE'S A SITKA SPRUCE, EH? AND SHE GOT 383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER."
THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION.
THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.
"LORD TUNDERIN'!! DAT'S YER DOUGLAS FIR AND SHE GOT 690 BOARD FEET." SAYS THE NORWEGIAN.
NOW THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED. THE NORWEGIAN HAS ANSWERED QUICKLY AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!! ONE MORE TEST.
THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?"
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHS POINTING, THE NORWEGIAN SAYS, A YELLER CEDAR,
242 BOARD FEET AT MOS'."
THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE PISSED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE NORWEGIAN IS SMARTER THAN HE.
AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND ASKS THE NORWEGIAN TO STEP OUTSIDE. HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?
I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!
THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT!! HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?
WHEN THE NORWEGIAN REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.
HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. "DAT'S DA FRONT A' DAT TREE FER SURE." THE NORWEGIAN STATES.
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, "HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
THE NORWEGIAN LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES,
"CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A SHIT BEHIND IT, EH?"
HE GOT THE JOB AND IS NOW THE FOREMAN!!!!!
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I bet old Willie Boy can't say that in Norwegian. 
I'm surrounded by grumpy old men!
