bad day on the back forty...

Everything but not IL2 ... say here 'Hello!' ;)
Post Reply
User avatar
Beowolff
Postmaster
Posts: 372
Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2003 9:37 pm
Location: hills of Beechbluff, Tenn. USA
Contact:

bad day on the back forty...

Post by Beowolff » Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:57 am

well, after putting up tons of christmas decorations for my wife...lights, tree, more lights, electric candles, electric wreaths, electric stars, etc, etc... i thought i was finally done.

ah ha! then she decides we need some pine cones to make the already cedar tree smelling living room smell more...christmasy. gah!

no prob, says I... i'll take lil' Pete (one of my pups) and we'll go a patrol down on the back forty where i know some old moma pine trees live that are sure to have nice cones dangling for the picking.

now it was pretty cold out there today...with a very high wind gusting and that damned wind was frigid---like right off the ice. so i put on my jean jacket, got out my old black, felt, western hat, strapped on my Colt peacemaker pistol and got my '92 Winchester---in case indians or commies attacked me and Pete down there in the wild woods. (you never know, eh?) and we lit out.

Pete is a miniture weeny dog, and he's never been out on patrol much and we don't let him run loose because of the hawks and coys and such...so he was wild with excitement on finally going on patrol with his ole dad. usually i take old Bugsy Malone...but ole Bugs died on me a bit back...rest his sweet and loving soul. anyway, since his death, Pete had become my new lil' partner and i thought hey, we've always treated him like a sissy dog so today he can learn about the woods and all.

well, so-so on that.

within minutes, i had realised that Pete's little legs couldn't keep up with me in the high grass...so i ended up carrying him most of the way to the back forty. when we got there, i put him down and he ran over to pee on a tree and immediately ran into and got caught in a savage thorn vine. the thorns stuck him and scared the bejesus out of him and then he was tearing over to me scared witless. (he'd never encountered a thorn vine before and for that matter, never been hurt either. lol!)

though he was obviously ready to go back to the house (and to hell with patrolling) i consoled him and told him to toughen up and take it like a man...er or dog. finally he seemed to feel better about it all, so we went on.

we finally found a huge ole moma pine tree then... loaded with cones. so i took out my sack and proceeded to fill it. i had forgotten to bring gloves and had forgot that most of the big pines around here have sharp...thorn-like growths on their limbs and on the cones...so then i got stuck.

hurt some, yeah, but i threw it off and kept filling my sack---feeling manly about it all the whole time.

finally we were done.

we started back for the house and Pete wanted to run ahead of me a little before we hit the tall grass and do some exploring... then all of a sudden, he started barking like crazy up there ahead of me and i thought he might have run up on an old cotton mouth snake out there sunning itself so i took off running as hard as i could towards where he was.

i was very alarmed for cotton mouths are deadly to animal or man and i didn't want him to get bit as it would most likely kill him.

panting and out of breath, i got to him...and then realized that it was just a swamp rabbit...just sitting there in the middle of the trail looking at him.

Pete had never seen a rabbit before and was barking at it cause he didn't know what the hell it was...and it was bigger than he was. (swamp rabbits here are HUGE!)

i started laughing about all that, relieved that he wasn't tangling with a snake and at the same time thinking it was funny cause he (Pete) was scared of that ole rabbit... and about that time, by damned heavy-ass Colt .45 pistol and holster slid right down around my ankles and carried my jeans and my underwear right along too.

and there i was---just standing there with my wanker and my arse shining in broad daylight and the cold wind a blowing right up my tail.

doh!

and i'll swear, both Pete AND that damned swamp rabbit were just standing there on the trail laughing their heads off at me.

gah! damned embarrasing, I'll tell you.

:(

thank goodness that happened out in the back forty and not up near the house where my wife could've seen it and ragged the hell out of me for the next thirty years over it.

:x :x :x

i tugged my underwear, pants, pistola and gunbelt back up...and gathering as much macho dignity about me as i could, followed Pete back on up to the farm house.

i spoke FIRMLY to him about mentioning that little episode to my wife...

i dearly hope no wild indians or commies (there in the back forty) saw my little embarrasment today...or the next time i go down there on patrol, i am a dead man for sure.

:?

salute!

Beowolff
Beowolff's Lair
http://www.msnusers.com/BeowolffsRoninL ... slair.msnw" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
User avatar
AltarBoy
Post Maniac 1st Grade
Posts: 1808
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2006 11:07 pm
Location: Falcon's Next Door Neighbour!

Post by AltarBoy » Fri Dec 08, 2006 2:19 am

Nice story Beo. Have no idea what winter feels like. Love dogs myself. Good for the dog to explore the woods.
ImageI'm surrounded by grumpy old men!
User avatar
:FI:Igor
Post Maniac 3rd Grade
Posts: 848
Joined: Sat Mar 08, 2003 8:05 am
Location: Alabama, USA

Post by :FI:Igor » Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:18 pm

Beo,

Two words...'shoulder holster'......great story...

Igor
:FI:Igor
User avatar
:FI:WillieOFS
Post Maniac 1st Grade
Posts: 1831
Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2003 4:17 pm
Location: 65 MI NE of DUBLIN (TX)
Contact:

Post by :FI:WillieOFS » Sun Dec 10, 2006 4:41 am

Uh...

one word..

GALLUSES!!! :roll: :lol: :p
Mindless Dribble and Off Topic posts are my specialty!



Image
Image
Post Reply