Fighting Irish Forums

Kinky Friedman may not be familiar to non-Texans, but his humor and insight are worth reading. If he is elected, Texas is in for a ride that has not been seen since the Alamo!

Quotes from Kinky Friedman, Independent candidate for Governor of Texas:

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

"I admit I was drinking a beer, but I did not swallow."

"A man without a woman is like a neck without pain."

"If you elect me the first Jewish governor, I will increase the speed limit to 74.95."

"I want to see Texas No. 1 in something besides toll-roads, executions, and property taxes."

"I can take criticisms, but please, no more circumcisions."

"In response to autograph seekers, "I'll sign anything except bad legislation."

"Yes, I smoke Cuban cigars, but actually I am just burning their fields."

"She would look good with a number of things on her, one of which is me."

"Cats have so much insight -- they can't stand lawyers."

"God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world."

"A fool and his money are soon elected."

"Career politicians are keeping the elevator at the penthouse floor and won't let it come down to get the rest of us."

"I'm a Jew. I'll hire good people."

"The only thing current Governor Perry has done is make George W. look smart."

"I'm too young for Medi care and too old for women to care."

"If I'm elected, the first thing I will do is demand a recount."