Fighting Irish Forums

hellow flyin irish... i kno you don't kno me, but i feel as if i kno you guys prety well and my master Beo knos you and trusts you and all. okay, okay---i'm comin' clean here... i'm his dog buddy, Bugsy Malone. Ben with him fer 15 years (actual human years. in doggy years that would be--let's see---nope can't count that high.) anyway, i'm revealin' my secret self, able ta speak and type, to you guys fer a good reason.

I'm worried about my master.

yep, for years now i've lain at his feet silently as he's ignored me to play games on his computer. oh, the pain of it. he's gotten on the internet (which is sort of cool, i usually get on too after he leaves for work) and fought Germans, Italians, Japanese, Russians, Chinese, Koreans, hideous space monsters, devils, and such... and overr the years during those fierce combats, oh how he has yelled, cursed, smoked endlessly, swilled strong coffee and occasionaly achololic beverages. he's thrown joysticks across the room, kicked foot pedals against the wall, threatened to blow up or shoot or take a sledge hammer to his monitor... you know. wild and crazy things. and all during those aforementioned games.

at first, in my own doggy way, i was vary concerned over the goings ons...but as time passed, i finally realized that my master was having what he called, fun.

well, to each his own, i guess.

but here's the rub. since that unfortunate lighting strike, where something sizzled in his computer... and he scalded is nads, (and scared the be-jesus out of me---i am still sporting the bump on my noggin) he's been strangely passive and quiet. yeah. its spooky. no cursing. no yelling and threatening. no, "for gawd's sake did YOU see THAT!" exclaimations. no waving his arms or shaking his fists at the monitor nor the little darting images on the monitor. (yes, he's still swilling coffee and smoking like a tar baby, but then he's always done that.) and thus my message to you guys.

i've guessing that his strange silence is somehow connected to his inability to play for very long in the multiplayer games over the net. (because of his crappy connection, he keeps getting kicked out of most games.) and my question to you guys is... should i be concerned?

let's keep this between ourselves, as i havent (yet) revealed myself to my master (my ability to speak and type anyway) and if he stumbles across this missive, just play it off as one of you guys pulling a practical joke or something... hehehe... poor guy, he's so down in the dumps over his trashed computer, he'll never guess the real truth.

well, this was a fairly long missive fer me... and a hard one (if you think that's strange, try typing with paws for yourself!) and i have to go, i here him getting up and tinkling in the potty... boy, can he tinkle for a LONG time this early! sheesh!

let me know yer thoughts on this soonest. should i be worried about him? should i attempt to buy him a new computer (i've got some human money saved up...about three dollars i found once on the dresser...oh, and a crap load of buried dog biscuits...surely they're worth a ton of cash!)

will he be okay? is this just a passing thing? and if so, when can i expect my "old" master back?

thanks for the help.

Bugsy

"woof!" "woof!"

First of all, here´s a bone for you ...



Well, I´d be deeply concerned about your master´s mind to be honest if I were you, my animal friend ... there´s really no yelling, cursing, smoking endlessly, swilling strong coffee and occasionally alcoholic beverages any more??? You´re sure? No doubt about it?

Has your master fallen in love? Has he bought a new big and better rifle? Has the hunting season been opened lately? - NAW?

Oh, Lord! Give him the strength to pass the long time while he´ll be waiting for a better internet connection ... let him find his pencil and some pieces of paper so he can write to his family, friends and other people ... let him see the high speed fibre cable light!!!!

Amen.


I feel with you, Bugsy.

If you are looking to the lads to buy your master a nice, slick new machine forget it my little friend - I tried too but they're just too CHEAP to help out a fellow mate!

I ended up having to sell my dog for some new parts. How faithful is your dog Beowolff?

Bugs ol' buddy, your master is merely suffering from Post Traumatic Cyberless Syndrome, or PSCS, a condition that I've had to deal with quite often with my dealings with Mr. Murphy (not the squadron's Murph). Granted, with the characteristics your master exhibited BEFORE the lightening strike and his acquiring PSCS, one would think you'd be more at ease with him in his present condition. Now I know you've taken care of ol Lynnon for many years, and your devotion is understandable, but you got to admit, the lack of shouting and cursing is a little easier on those K9 ears of yours, and it must be nice not having to dodge high-velocity joysticks at your advanced age, you're no pup anymore, you know. Your master will find a way around his present dilemma like he always does, and when that happens, he'll be back to the old master you're use to. Until then, my advice is to enjoy the lack of chaos while it lasts. Butter him up and get a few extra doggie treats, and remember to smile!

"woof" i'll have to type this missive fast... Master is already up and tinkling (again...wow, for a human the man can pee! if only he'd hike his leg like he really should he could get a better arc) and will be up here eventually.

by the way, Gen, thanks for the bone... (chomp, crunch!)

and the advice guys. hmmm, thanks, Zeke for explaining the pcs thingamagiggy.

but, no, i miss the old loud, cursive, beverage-swilling, explosive, stick-throwing, pedal-kicking master. that, over the years, has become normal to me. i miss the pointing at the moving dots on the screen and him yelling... "NO! NO FRIGGING WAY! THAT SON-##$@%$#&@! CAN'T DO THAT!" the "YOU WANT SOME YOU FU@!@#$%!@#!" the, "YOU WANT SOME OF THIS? WELL, HERE YOU GO YOU BAS##@#$%$#@!"

by the way, can anyone explain a few human terms to me? terms my Master uses a lot... such as Mo-FO. what in the devil is a mo-fo? and this one... "you sorry sack of shite?" what is THAT all about? do people/humans actually carry around sacks of shite? and by doing so, does it make them sorry? isn't that kind of smelly?

also, what is the gleeful, evil-sounding chuckling noise all about when my master actually and finally manages to, as he calls it, "shoot the bastard down!" what's up with that?

is it sort of like when we go bird hunting and he pops one with a shotgun? and when he does that, should i jump up and point a paw at the falling bird and be yelling out... "hey, master, you shot the bastard down!" and then making same sort of gleeful, evil-sounding chuckling noise from MY throat?

is that the same sort of thing?

woops, got'a go... he's stumbling up the hallway now and almost here. ouch! i think he's fell over the damned old cat and bumped into the wall and struck his noggin again. there goes a bit of the old master...cursing and all. i think the stupid cat clawed his leg again... there's even more foul language. hehehe... ahh, good to hear it. maybe he's on the rebound here.

i'll keep my paws crossed.

later.

"woof!" "woof!"

Bugsy