overpowering feelings of guilt

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Beowolff
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overpowering feelings of guilt

Post by Beowolff » Mon Feb 27, 2006 5:14 am

Dear Unc,

(hope i'm not being TOO brash by calling you that..)

but as i have always got such sound advice from you before, i feel that i must also bring this little problem to you as well.

yes, yes---am having terrible feelings of overwhelming guilt.

i've ever so cleverly managed to conceal several hundred dollars from my spouse, my trusting spouse i might add, by over-inflating my daily lunch expense/allowance. yes, hideous, i know, but there you go. i've plainly stipulated to her that it costs me some five dollars a day to procure an eatable lunch, when in fact, i eat at my store for free (hotdogs off the grill, and writing off chips off the shelf as being out of date...yes, that's also a no-no...but i AM the general manger and should have SOME small perks, yes?)

anyway, after several months of this concealment/stashing, i finally had enough to go out and purchase a NEW pistol for myself that i've had an eye on for some time. a very nice, new pistol. i'm quite proud of it really. well, of course she was wanting to know how i'd managed to procure the pistol...a small 'white' lie popped right out of my mouth instantly... "dear, i traded one of my old ones for it!) and nothing else was said about it.

then, a few months later, i had enough of the 'tainted' lunch money put back to buy a new leather motorcycle jacket, and also a nice pair of silver conchoed leather saddlebags (with leather fringe) for the new bike. again, the questions arose...."where did you get the money for all that?" again, the small, 'white' lies flowed like honey from my spineless mouth. "uh, uh, uh, a biker came into the store and traded them for gas money to go see his mom in the hospital!" (i know that sucks, but hey, it was better than the original thought...i found them on the side of the road!)

again, the matter was dropped...due to my bold-faced lie.

but...and this is the kicker, every time i shoot the pistol, wear the jacket, or throw the saddle bags across the back of my bike, i feel---well, guilty as hell about the whole thing.

my question to you great sage?

no, no, no...not whether i should confess or at the least sell all of the booty and buy her something nice with the cash... but how in the world can i OVER come these feelings of guilt?

answer needed post-haste, if you please...

:?

thanks,

Beowolff (working on more money for a new pair of boots.)
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:FI:Fenian
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Hmmm...

Post by :FI:Fenian » Mon Feb 27, 2006 2:53 pm

Pretend you are a woman. They have no such feelings of guilt.

Try the black pumps in patent leather to start with... 3" should be high enough for you ;)

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Post by Beowolff » Mon Feb 27, 2006 3:22 pm

took your advice and by golly, all feelings of guilt vanished immediately!

amazing!

however, the heels hurt my ankle. any suggestions as to that?

:?

also, now i've begun wanting a matching purse and i saw none that i thought dignified my personage locally. could you recommend an outlet?

many thanks,

Beowolff Fatale
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Ahh...

Post by :FI:Fenian » Mon Feb 27, 2006 8:09 pm

Only put the heels on when you want something - the purse for example.

And match them with stockings and you'll find that you will get pretty much whatever you want from the nearest man.

Mind you, he may require something in return.... like the freedom to ride his motorcycle or shoot his new pistol.

But... seeing as you are that man - then all problems suddenly vanish!

So, in short, when you want to do something that makes you feel guilty, dress up as a woman and 'Just Do It'.

;)

I see no problems here... just unexplored opportunities!

:)

FunkaEn

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Post by :FI:Falcon » Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:16 am

Right!

Now that's enough!

This thread is getting entirely too silly.

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It is a well known fact that our transvestite problem is well under control,

and when I say "under control" I may mean it is rampant,

but much more under control than that sheep thing ...

mostly.
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- The history of Paul Revere's midnight ride, by Sarah Palin.
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Post by :FI:Igor » Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:32 am

yeah, yeah, back to the important stuff. What kinda pistol and what bike. 'gas money to visit Mother in the hospital"? Nice touch!

Igor da Terrible
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Ehem...!

Post by arne_and » Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:46 am

:FI:Falcon wrote:It is a well known fact that our transvestite problem is well under control,
mostly.
Im afraid that`s a negative Falcon!

In fact, Beo wont stop PM`ing me silly pictures of him self every sunday after his friday and saturdays adventures downtown..


Image

;)



And i dont dare to post those sheep pictures Fenian is sending me.... :)
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Post 'em! Post 'em!

Post by :FI:Heloego » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:24 am

Pleeeeeeeeeze, please please please please!!! :badgrin:
...and wear your feckin' mask!!!!! :x
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Well..

Post by arne_and » Fri Mar 03, 2006 11:38 am

Im afraid Fen would have to kill me if i do that :badgrin:
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Hmmm...

Post by :FI:Fenian » Fri Mar 03, 2006 7:47 pm

Don't remember that... must've been drunk...

Black out probably.....

Perhaps you can post them to jog my memory?

:)

UnkaFem
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Then, and ONLY then...

Post by :FI:Heloego » Sat Mar 04, 2006 7:04 am

...may you kill him. ;)
...and wear your feckin' mask!!!!! :x
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Post by Beowolff » Sat Mar 04, 2006 8:16 pm

well, i don't think i've decided to go the whole cross-dressing route quite just yet...though i'm open to suggestions from the crew here. i suggest that all of you post your own photos in heels, hose and such so that i might get some new perspective from it all...

anxiously awaiting the snapshots.

:shock:

:lol:

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Welll

Post by :FI:Fenian » Sun Mar 05, 2006 10:24 am

I don't have any of myself... but here is a pic of a friend of mine. He's a nuclear physicist that really wanted to be a nurse.

So now he gets the best of both worlds....

Image

FunkaEm
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Perhaps Unk you should change the heading to your column

Post by :FI:Sneaky_Russian » Sun Mar 05, 2006 4:13 pm

Got a problem? Need some advice? Ask Unkle Fenster, he'll put you straight ;)
Or maybe a new Forum "FI Chorus Line" :badgrin: ?

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Post by arne_and » Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:05 am

Sneaky_Russian wrote:
Ask Unkle Fenster, he'll put you straight ;)

Not entierly "Straight" no... :lol: :lol: :lol:



You will see those sheep pics soon fen, I`ve just sent them to the ASPCA, so they will pop up on first page in The Times or something soon.. Just imagine those headlines! :badgrin: :badgrin:



You want snapshots beo? Hehee.. You`ll have to wait until next weekend, you see, I and some of me friends ordered this:

Image

(Thats not me with the suit, we`ve just ordered the suit;) )
a week ago, and im expecting it to come in my mail today, so when the jack daniels bottles is empty on friday night im gonna take out the digital camera... :badgrin:
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