Tequila

:FI:Scott · Post by **:FI:Scott** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:23 am

This is why we should know our limits when drinking tequila.

Guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.

He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender and asks. "What's up with the jar?"

"Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the
money."

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. "What are the three
tests?"

Pay first, those are the rules." says the bartender. So the man gives
him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

"OK," the bartender says. He re's what you need to do:
First, You have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila, the
whole thing, all at once...and you can't make a face while doing it.

Second, There's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

Third. There's a 90 year old woman upstairs who has never reached
orgasm during intercourse. You've gotta make things right for her."

The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot, I
won't do it!

You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do
those other things..."

"Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."

As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he
asks, "Wherez zat tequila?"

He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp.
Tears streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.

Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained up and soon
the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on
outside.

They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull
yelping and then silence.

Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back
into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all
over his body.

"Now," he says ........ "Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"

:FI:McBiggles · Post by **:FI:McBiggles** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:56 am

'One Tequila,
two Tequila,
three Tequila,
floor.'

T-Shirt. Fiesta. Santa Fe, New Mexico. 1990.

El Tesoro, Platinum.

Change your life.

Buenos noches amigos.

El McBiggleso.

:FI:Falcon · Post by **:FI:Falcon** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:56 am

:FI:Macca · Post by **:FI:Macca** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 2:18 pm

poor dog...

Gurkesaft · Post by **Gurkesaft** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 3:58 pm

HAHAHAHAHA!

HA

(tears)

:FI:Ghost · Post by **:FI:Ghost** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 4:49 pm

HAHAHAHA, yea poor dog.... good joke:)

:FI:Heloego · Post by **:FI:Heloego** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 5:16 am

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 1:02 pm

Ah. good one!

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 3:52 pm

Ahh, takes me back ....

:FI:Fenian · Post by **:FI:Fenian** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 4:03 pm

Did he forget to take the jar of cash home with him?

:FI:WillieOFS · Post by **:FI:WillieOFS** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 4:31 am

As told to me in a bar in Ireland one night, after doing a shot of Cuervo Gold. ( much to the amusement of the local patrons

)

The gent standing to my left said, "Tequila. 'Tis a madman's drink lad. Ya should be drinkin' Glenlivet." I agreed, handed him a King Edward SEEGAR, and asked if he was buying the first round.

He replied "AYE!".

We had a great time.

fianna · Post by **fianna** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 2:42 pm

happy memories of tequila filled nights...bad memories of the morning after !!!

Gurkesaft · Post by **Gurkesaft** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 4:23 pm

My stomach has a tequila nastiness filter. All the goodness of tequila goes through my system, and somehow the nastiness gets strained at the bottom of my esophagus for vurping purposes.

Alas. If only science understood this strainer, we could make the best tequila in the world.

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 10:03 pm

Mas Tequila!

Haven't drank that for awhile. All they ever gave us was potato rum (vodka).

Tequila

Tequila

What's the funny bit then?